fearrrr.

I am such an idiot to give him to him just like that.

Haa, should have took full advantage of it.

*

Bitchhh, now you know. And now you know why my heart goes so soft like this.

I want to stop myself so badly, being so soft and everything.

But i can only promise that i try and i am trying to.

I need some serious bitch-slap.

subway.

Utterly disappointed.

I see you happier dancing with others, happily ignoring, happily having your petty unreasonable disagreement of my certain actions, your self-centered-ness. Then go on getting another partner. Have your guts to say you want a change.

I am not here and neither is it my job to take in your unhappiness over whatever small little things i did that affected you. Its time you learn how to give in and start thinking at others point of view too. You’re not always right. And what made you think your actions that seems like those small little things you did never affected me.

How does it sound when someone always say to you i am right, and you’re wrong?

How unwise to face your life like this.

There’s a reason why she left you without giving you are 3rd chance? You broke the trust and you still didn’t change.

Baboon, you might be right. I might just be another L, but obviously as friend.

*

So many people said so much. Now its up to me.

I know i can’t let it go one shot. Bitchhh, you know why..

Its so hard cause he’s so hot and cold.

But i will and am trying.

Let me let go, and i will in time.

*

Let FYP and Muse be over and done with! Please please pleasee!!

fight.

Its no longer peaceful. And it feels as if it never would be.

Troubling will stop, time will prove it.

When something ttroubling happens, you push yourself to move on, don’t you?

*

Food’s my heaven now. Eat eat eat, and fat fat fat.

*

One who holds no strong convictions, will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average.

pisss offf.

Its fking annoying.

This sucks, i have so many things in my mind. I do not wish to have more things adding on to it.

*

Screw fyp, havent done the portal log in.

Ok, shit i just remember i have to do the minutes but i am so lazy. Just finished my RJ.

Editing of press release is coming right up next i think. SIGH!

My event’s gonna take up my one of Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Which means missing of dance and work. Rah. Thank G i have 2 days of school only.

booo wooo.

Been pretty feisty. Some people are just being hot and cold and it irritates the shit out of me cause i don’t understand what are they trying to do.

Wtf, i do have feelings too you know. Actions speaks louder then words. Were what you said that day really what you meant?

*

Sometimes i wonder what i am doing at the various technique classes.

What did i bring back with me? Am i even able to bring it back with me?

The more i dance, the worse i feel.

*

I am appalled at this particular 2 guys at how they could treat a girl as either a sex object or just for satisfaction of loneliness or what so ever.

Being able to wash them off their hands like that without considering how the girls would feeel.

Girls are not toys, neither are they just some one with pussy.

bizarre!

Haiya, i don’t know what to do.

Fk feelings.

*

I want to take up piano again, but money’s always the issue.

Mama is already trying to stop me from dancing since it takes up so much time and money.

Piano lessons costs about double of it in a month.

I need to earn more, save myself to pay for an organ.

Playing piano let me vent everything out. Music helps keep me sane you know.

*

Too much thoughts to put it in words.

Too much thoughts to even understand what i want really.

Underneath the veil. Internal arguements.

momentarily.

Just when i thought life’s finally alittle more peaceful now, school’s starting.

SIGH. Dread it. Dread the presentations, the competitiveness. No more sleeves, short nor slipper. The new stranger bunch.

*

Bitccch! Meet up soon again! Our movie dates are never endingg k!

And i am so not a couples with J. You know it! Neveeerrr.

*

Love knows not its depth. Love and truth in masquerade.

Love this quote.

*

Messed up with work schedule. Haiyo.

*

Back with what would happen after i graduate? Dance; studies; friends.

Caged.

Been very temperamental.

Boggling mind. Money issues. Family. Internal battlings.

More countless squabbling and be at loggerheads with people.

I know i have my bits of wrong, but when don’t people just be more tolerant towards me sometimes. I am confident in saying i do tolerate them even when they are in the bad.

Just alittle tolerance show from them would really give my spirit a lift you know. Sigh.

*

Lost.

Today Thin said,”If you are feeling lost, then ask yourself – if you are not sparkling, then what are you doing?”

I won’t aim to sparkle, so dramatic all. But just really aim to be happy, its really sufficient already.

*

Finally get to meet Bitch today! (:

Hopefully we can like finally fulfill our movie date with pretzels! (: (:

clogged.

Did you ever wonderr why your mind’s so full and haven’t got much of an idea why you are so clogged up in the mind?

I feel this barrier sometimes- between people and i, situations, doing projects. Something that blocks out thoughts and ideas, something that stop me from conversing with people, something just very restraining.

I have my reflective moments every now and then, and its just frustrating when that peculiar knot doesn’t untangle.

Fk emotions, fk life, fk the nature.

*

Parents are oblivious, so does their children to them.

And it just simply hurts. To have such straightforward parents. Who simply give no extra thought to their actions even if they do understand.

And i still remember saying take bliss that you have parents who are friends and your confident; for money’s not everything in one of the first post.

I won’t deny the parental-children love and vice versa. Ironically, they probably would be the first to run if i caught some disease, this i wager on. I would probably regret saying this. I don’t know.

*

I was always able to relate to people’s love life problems, since i have been through quite few on my own.

J was confiding of his love life. And i could no longer relate to it. Probably giving him answers through logical thinking and theories.

Appalled at myself, i asked myself, whats love again? I have no idea how being in love feels like anymore. No matter how much i pushed to remember the history i have so long buried under my heart, i just can’t. Not even the happy moments, just emotionless, just nothing.

memories.

14 September 2009

23 September 2009

These dates i remember.